Memories
by Glamagirl
Summary: Haunted by certain picture, John is hit by some memories…
1. Chapter 1

Recycled story, hope you enjoy ;)

Memories

"Noooo. No, no, no and no."

John Cena stated in something very close to dismay as he frantically shook his head in denial. What he was seeing was really bad; no, it was horrible and he could scarcely believe it.

It was almost like watching a really bad movie that had no end and for a long moment where he believed himself to be in shock, he could only remain sitting stiffly with his mouth hanging open and his clear blue eyes glued to the monitor of his laptop.

'It just can't be true.'

He was trying to put his mind at ease by repeating that to himself, but the rational part of his brain that was still working knew that there was no way his eyes could be deceiving him.

This was no longer a rumor, now it was pure fact.

He leaned forward, studying the disturbing image more closely. The man in the picture was clearly him; there was no possible way he could mistake him for somebody else, and although the woman's face was looking away from the camera, he could also recognize her just fine.

He could also see in the picture that their hands were linked together, their fingers intertwined as she leaned comfortably against his taller frame for a kiss.

"You have to be fucking kidding me!" He let the foul words to roll out of his mouth in a whisper. Not that it mattered, he was all alone in his hotel room so there was nobody to hear him anyway.

Still in shock, he gasped, blinked a couple of times and still the image didn't disappear or changed itself into something less sickening.

It can't be true… It just can't!

But yet it was, the proof was right in front of his eyes and he was staring at it. Crawling out of his denial phase, John ran a hand through his short hair while his horrified eyes focused on the screen.

"This is bad." He said while his mind was all messed up and in turmoil; emotions ranging from denial, anger and dull acceptance fighting their way to be on top. It was like a grieving cycle and if the situation wasn't so tragic, he would have laughed about the absurdity of it all.

Tragic… Was it really that tragic?

He considered for a moment and made his conclusion. It wasn't only tragic, it was fucking chaotic! Destiny had messed up with the balance of the universe and something horribly wrong could result out of it.

Those two weren't supposed to happen. Not in this lifetime, not while he lived…

"But what am I supposed to do?" As much as he hated it, the rumors circling around the web for the past few weeks were true. He was finding picture after picture to prove what his heart wouldn't accept. They did happen, and as far as he knew, they were still happening.

But… it wasn't supposed to be that way.

With a grunt of frustration that escaped from the deepest part of his being, John slammed the laptop shut, not bothering to turn it off and caring even less if the damned thing could break with the forceful impact.

The computer was the last thing in his mind; he was… he and the pictures he was seeing.

"No… it can't be true." Hit by a wave of determination that he would probably regret later on, John sprung out of the bed and reached for the hotel phone that was on the nightstand. He was going to find out for himself what was really going on.

Oh yes, he was going to find out before the night ended.

XxXxXxXxX

He was feeling antsy. Back in the sanctuary of his hotel room he had been determined to carry on with this, but now that he was standing right in front of his door, he wasn't so sure anymore.

What if he was with her?

His heart clenched at the thought of the two of them together in that room. Would he be so careless as to take her into his room like that? The picture circling around the web of the two of them kissing came into his mind and he shuddered.

Yes, he was being careless. He was letting himself be photographed with her all over. Out eating, arriving to the arenas, at the gym… they were everywhere together!

Ah, but it wasn't the same; when going out together, people wouldn't judge them as they would have judged them. And why would they, a relationship between a man and a woman that worked together was something natural while they were not.

He knew that very well; back in their time, they were never to be seen in public together on a persona basis. Why? Because careless was a thing they had never been with each other. They both knew what could be at stake so they decided to keep their romance low key; after all theirs wasn't an ordinary relationship.

But that was a long time ago and it was obvious that the man that was letting himself be photographed with a woman that apparently was his girlfriend wasn't man he had once loved.

Once…

Shaking his head, John lifted his hand to knock on the door, but before it even touched the hard wood he drew it back and turned around. He paced through the long deserted corridor some more, his arms folded against his chest.

'What would I do if I knock and she's the one who answers? And even if she's not in there, what would I say to him?'

There was also the fact that he had no right to meddle in his affairs, he had lost what little right he had a long time ago when he let him go.

But it wasn't so easy, he cared about him, how could he not care? He had loved him once, and through nights like this, that other man had held him in his arms, loving him too. That in this cruel present he did not have his love could not stop him from caring.

He stopped his pacing and took a deep breath. 'Just knock and improvise, it's not that hard.'

Shaking his head, John re-assumed the pacing. No, he shouldn't care, he really shouldn't. But he did nonetheless, he cared greatly and it bothered him to no end that he seemed as happy with her as he has never been with him…

And seriously, what could he even see in her? He deserved better than some girl and he definitely could do way better. Not that he cared, he was a past episode his life and he could do as he pleased.

Well… actually he did care because sure, he no longer loved him, but when he did, he had loved him with all the power of his being.

There has even been a dark long time when his soul had not been satisfied with the fact of not having him by his side; but that was no more and he had since then moved on with his own life.

Back to that crucial time when he decided to let him go, his absence had been unbearable, at least until he got use to it and learned to live with it… without him.

Sure, some nights when he was lying alone in bed he still thought about him; but nowadays thinking about him wasn't what it used to be. Yes there was melancholy, but because he knew they had done the right thing there were no regrets.

He just… moved on.

Oh but it wasn't easy getting there, after all he had to see him almost every day of his life, so close and yet so far. But with time he managed to deal with it, he decided to work things out with his wife and everything was going good. He was trying to be happy and he seemed happier than ever.

With time they both moved on and after some time they were simply not the same beings that had loved each other with a passion hard to control, they had become strangers.

How that had saddened him. It still did. In his mind he couldn't understand how it could be that love was too short but forgetting so long…

Running a hand down his jaw, John bit hard on his lower lip, realization hitting him hard as a blow to the gut.

'What am I doing?'

He stopped dead in his tracks. He couldn't do it; this could unleash some feelings that would be better off buried deep in his subconscious. He should go back to his own room and think of anything but him. Let him screw the entire women's locker room if he wanted to, it was not of his concern.

Determined to put that episode of insanity behind, John turned away from the door and started to make his way back to his room before someone could see him roaming through the corridors. But that night, he found out that destiny was indeed a bitch, as he had not given two steps away from his door when none other than Phil Brooks aka CM Punk appeared right in front of his.

He wasn't quite sure where he had come from, but there he was. Surprise, surprise…

As John remained there with nothing to say, the younger man gazed at him through half closed eyes. There was no point of trying to flee now, he has been caught.

For a moment, John thought that Phil was going to keep walking and pretend he hadn't ever see him, but when passed him by he turned and looked at him with query in his eyes.

"Hey-" He said stupidly and as soon as the word left his mouth he wanted to take it back.

"Hey yourself." The Chicago Native responded as he tilted to the side, his lovely olive green eyes sparkling as he looked at him.

John could remember now how easy it was to get lost in the depths of those eyes…

Clearing his throat, the younger man lifted his eyebrows, never taking his eyes away from John's as he probably waited for him to give a good, coherent explanation of why he was stalking his room.

Feeling the weight of the situation falling on his shoulders, John let out a nervous chuckle and shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "Can we talk?"

Phil straightened his head and squinted his eyes as if considering the request. "Sure." He responded at last, turning around as he walked towards his room.

Once he got to his door he opened it and held it open so that he could enter.

On His part, John stood there, watching him watching her.

"Do you want to talk right here or do you want to go inside?"

The WWE wrestler smiled slightly at him but it felt as a grimace. The truth was that he was feeling awkward; his eyes on him, the familiarity of the moment… it was all kind of surreal. But anyways, now that he was already there he shook out of his trance and walked in.

Phil's room was not much different from his own and as he turned on the lights he noticed that there was no sign of a woman staying there with him. But that didn't mean anything at all, she could arrive anytime now or he could be going over to hers soon after. Who knew? But because he didn't want to think about that, he shrugged and then took the liberty of sitting at the edge of his bed.

"So shoot." The tattooed wrestler said, leaning against the closed door while John turned his head to look at him. By the look the other man was giving him, John knew that he wasn't pleased to have him invading the privacy of his room.

He shrugged once again, not sure if he should just tell him what really brought him there. By right he should be back at his room and he just didn't know how to proceed by now. "So how are you?" Lame but it was the only thing that sprung into his mind.

"I'm doing good…" He replied, furrowing his brow as he quirked his lips in a half grin. "You?"

Nodding, John tilted his head to the side and without taking his eyes from the man standing across from him, he licked his lips. "I'm good."

At those words Punk arched an eyebrow and clapped his hands together. "Well go figure, it seems like we are both doing good." He smiled and for some unknown reason, John felt his heart skip a beat with the intensity of those eyes on him and the sight of that rare smile.

Ah, but it shouldn't come as a surprise that he had that effect on him; after all, ever since the first day he saw him he found herself oddly drawn to him. What was amazing was that he still possessed the power of messing up his entire world with just one smile.

Phil Brooks… damn him.

Biting hard on his lips to stop a snort to escape him, John held his head up high and held his gaze with his, wondering what was Phil thinking in that moment.

There has been a time when he could know what he was thinking by just looking into those hypnotic eyes of his. Back then they wouldn't need words to communicate with each other, a single touch could be enough to demonstrate their love, and with just one look they could talk poems if they wanted to. But those days were gone and he could no longer decipher his eyes.

"But you didn't come here to know how I was doing."

"No I didn't." He confessed. It could be that he no longer knew his eyes but it seemed like Phil still knew his so there was no point on circling on the matter. "Are you going out with Beth?"

As soon as the question was asked, Phil chuckled while running a hand through his hair. "I see that you are blunt as always, Cena… some things never change." He scratched his chin, considering his words carefully. "But… I don't see how that concerns you."

"It doesn't concern me, I just don't like her at all and I want to know if it's true. So is it?"

Phil walked towards him; he walked very slowly and with something resembling a bemused expression on his face. When he got to John, he bent down a little so he could look into his blue eyes. "Why, are you jealous, John?"

The older man snickered. "What? No… not at all!" He rolled his eyes a little too overdramatically. "Trust me, I'm not jealous over a Diva so don't be ridiculous." After saying that, he stood from the bed in a hurry.

He decided that the conversation was not going to lead them anywhere so he was leaving. It had been a stupid mistake to go there in the first place.

He mumbled something of the sort to out loud but in his haste to leave he could barely remember what he said or if Phil even heard him.

But then, when he was reaching the door, Phil grabbed him by the arm and made him turn around, making him face him.

"Why did you come here?" His tone was calm and eerie.

Trying to look indifferent, John opened his mouth to speak his answer, but as it turned out he did not have any good one. "I don't know." He confessed in defeat. "Maybe because I care about you and I don't know, I… I just don't want to see you hurt and that girl will do just that. She's not good for you." He sighed before he could go on with his ramble.

The truth was that he had come to him because he had once loved him, maybe he still did.

This time, Phil was the one who snickered. "Really? You are truly concerned about me getting hurt? Well that's rich, I mean considering our past."

John actually flinched at that. He had indeed hurt him and hurting him was like hurting Himself. It had honestly been the most difficult decision he had ever made in his life but it was something that had to be done. Because no matter how much they said they loved each other, a relationship that could only be held behind closed doors had no future whatsoever.

And then it was the matter of Punk's super mega push in the company, if their relationship would have been made public, they were both going to end in the dog house.

He hadn't care so much for himself, he was used on the hate and the rumors and he knew they wouldn't affect him; but Phil has busted his ass for his career to finally be picking up and he didn't have it in him to be the reason his dream was curt short. "I had to do what was best for both of us. You know that."

Punk tightened his grip on him. "No John, you did what was best for you and your precious PG persona. God… I was crazy about you and you knew that. I would have done anything for you and if I had to go public I would have done it in an instant."

John chuckled bitterly, shaking his head while his jaw tensed. "Well I couldn't let you throw your career down the toilet and then have you resent me for it." His voice cracked a bit, just the sightless but he was sure that Phil noticed.

Taking a deep breath to calm down, John blinked a couple of times and casted his eyes down. What he said was the truth, he knew that in his careless behavior Phil would have gone public and he couldn't allow that. But not because he didn't want him to do it, but just because he knew that he loved wrestling more than he loved anything else and that at the long run, their relationship could end up costing him many opportunities.

He couldn't do that to him. He loved him too much to do that to him.

Feeling a pair of eyes piercing him, John held his breath when Phil finally let go of his arm with a bitter chuckle. "Whatever, I'm not going to fight for a lost cause. Go back to your little wife and your oh so glorious career and let me live my life as I please."

"I don't have a wife." He said as a matter of fact while looking down to Phil. Sure, John has tried to pick things up with her when he broke up with Phil but it just didn't work.

First because in John's eyes no one could be as good as Phil and second, because even while they remained married, he and his wife were not together as a couple and going back to the place they had once been was not easy. Especially since they hadn't been living together for more than a year and so their attempt to fix things was nothing but a failed attempt that lead them straight to a divorce.

At his words, Phil squinted his eyes and tilted his head to the left. John still knew him a bit and he could tell that he was trying to find the truth in his eyes.

"How long?" The Chicago Native asked in a somber low tone but his eyes had a certain glint that he couldn't quite place. Hope? Or maybe it was his own hope reflected into his eyes.

"The Divorce? It was finalized seven months ago but we decided to do it almost a year ago."

"So, it seems like you decided to dump us all at the same time."

"Phil…"

"You know what?" The younger man said walking away and letting his body fall in a sitting position at the corner of the bed. "This is all messed up, when did we become so messed up?"

John walked up to him and sat by his side, letting his hand find his to take it in. With his thumb he caressed his skin, drawing clumsy circles along the way.

It felt good to touch him if only this lightly, it felt right.

"My guess is that right from the beginning." He replied with a sigh.

Yeah… from the moment he first saw Phil walking around with his cutting attitude and his careless hair, John knew he was doomed and time just proved that notion.

At first he just watched and appreciated, but when the opportunity presented itself he grabbed the bull by the horns and made the best out of it. True, the infamous CM Punk played hard to get, but once he got him, it has been hard to let him go.

Love at first sight? If such thing existed, he would call it that. But no, he didn't believe in such crap so he liked to say it has been like a fatal attraction; and yeah, as much as he tried not to fall for it he did, he fell into temptation and consequentially he fell in love with him.

With his shoulder brushing against his former lover's, John saw as Phil entwined his finger with his and for a peaceful moment the two of them remained in silence, lost in memories of long ago that wanted to resurface.

It was crazy, but having him so close and feeling his hand taking his made John realize something; he knew right there the truth that he had been denying for so long. He loved him, he will love him until the day he died and then in eternity he will keep on loving him.

"So you and Beth, uh? I didn't know you two were together until I started to heard some rumors."

"Hmmm, I thought you knew it and just didn't care."

Was he being serious? How could he not care?

"I care… I know I shouldn't but it's not like I can help it." Clearing his throat and blinking his eyes slowly, John bit on his lower lip and went on. "I hope that at least she's not distracting you from what you love the most, wrasslin."

"I can't complain,"

John sucked into his mouth his lower lip and folded his arms against his chest. "Yeah, but if she really cares she wouldn't let you hold back."

"What if she cared so much that she saw that my true happiness was with her by my side? Now don't get me wrong, I love my wrestling, but what is a few championships and the big check if I don't have the person I love by my side."

'No, this can't be happening. It's like a nightmare come true.'

With his mind racing a thousand miles per second, John yanked his hand away from Phil's and hid his face with both his hands as he doubled over. "God, this is not right." He whimpered, feeling frustration hit him full force.

"What is not right?" Phil asked as he grabbed his shoulders to make him sit straight.

"Everything!" He spat, fixing his eyes on his. "Do you love her?"

His former lover snorted. "Beth? Of course not; I mean yeah we dated for a while but it just didn't work out."

At his words, John's eyes sparkled. "You are not with her? But I thought…"

"Well don't think too much, Cena."

Taking in a deep breath, John closed his eyes and swallowed on dry. He was glad Phil wasn't with Beth anymore but for some reason their talk still left a bitter taste inside his mouth. "I cared about you, that's why I did what I did. You know I loved you… I think I still do."

As soon as his words were out, Phil leaned into him and kissed him, his lips warm and soft against his own; it was just like he remembered but maybe even sweeter.

But he didn't linger for long; it was just a soft probing kiss that ended too soon.

"You think you love me… well, I know I never stopped loving you so it's obvious that we still have a discrepancy here. Not that it matters, love or no love I moved on and I'm focusing in the goals I want to accomplish instead of getting stuck in the past."

"Phil…" He began to say but he cut her up by pressing one finger to his lips.

"So, if I satisfied your curiosity for the night I think it's better if you leave; I have an early flight tomorrow and I don't want to oversleep."

John nodded, he knew when a quiet exit was needed and he was about to make one in that same moment. Oh, but it wasn't because he was lacking on things to say; no, he actually had a lot to say. But he was also feeling confused about how their conversation turned out and he needed to organize his thoughts first.

He was going to do that in his room and then he would see what to do.

So with that in mind, he got up from the bed and walked to the door.

"Oh, and John." At the sound of his voice, the Massachusetts' own turned around, finding his eyes immediately with his. He was smiling one of his rare smiles and he found that smile to be endearing and full of promises. Who knew, maybe there was still hope for them, they just needed time. "Next time you want to know something, just ask and save yourself the trouble of stalking me."

Chuckling, John refrained himself from answering and just looked down to the floor. He just had to think about everything before doing anything, but because he thought it was needed and because he was now sure of what he was feeling, he lifted his head and smiled back at him. "Alright, and by the way Phil, I do love you."

"I know." He said with a confident smile and responding with a wink he turned around and left. This time he left happy because he was sure that it was not going to be for good.


	2. Chapter 2

I've never been too good with this kind of stories so it took me forever to update it. It's not much, but I wanted to finish it and here it is. Enjoy.

ChApTeR 2:

Phil Brooks has always been an enigma to him. He was like a hard riddle he couldn't quite figure out and even after they started to interact more intimately, he couldn't decipher the essence of his nature. He was just a land of contradictions and in his mind that was just too complicated for him to comprehend.

It was like this, back in the day, to the public eye the man was perceived as one of the biggest jerks in the wrestling business and more often than not he would prove to be a total ass. He would get in arguments with the fans, backstage his ill temper always got the best of him and the rumor behind his back was that he was like a time bomb ready to explode at any given time.

He has even got into fights with other of the guys in ROH and TNA and that didn't say much about his work ethics.

That's how he came into the WWE, carrying a reputation that made him gain quite a few enemies among people before even knowing him; but if that ever bothered him, Phil never let it show.

He was just too high above everyone to care.

That was the perception John had of him just a few weeks after meeting him for the first time and even though the younger man had completely blown his mind away by that dark aura that surrounded him, he kept his distance because he kind of intimidated him.

Yes, Phil Brooks intimidated the overconfident John Cena and that was part of the reason he felt so drawn to him.

Back in those initial first years, he had the impression that if he would do as much as to step in his vicinity, the Straight Edge Superstar would snap at him and send him away with just a look of those intense olive green eyes of his and he honestly didn't want that, no uh.

But that didn't dissuaded him from keeping a discrete eye on him, he was too intrigued not to watch him in silence and one good day, after catching him staring his way he decided to approach like he only knew how to and see how it would go.

Needless to say that it went out great.

As it turned out, Phil was as much as a workaholic as he was and with time he got to know him better than anyone else in the business.

And because he knew him so well was why he could say without any doubt that Phil was full of contradictions. You see, once he got to know him he realized that he wasn't everything that met the eye. Deeper than what he made himself to be, John knew that the tattooed man wasn't quite like people thought he was. Sure, he had a temper from hell and he was kind of a jerk, but he was also kind once the doors were closed to the world and to that day she hadn't meet anyone more caring and loyal than him.

That at one point of his life he didn't want to portray himself like that was another thing. But he was really all that and more.

So yeah, he had always been a mystery to him… he has been so since the first time he lay eyes on him and he was being so years later, even after they started and consequentially ended what John catalogued as the most important relationship in his life.

Pursing his lips, the former WWE champion blinked slowly, watching out of the corner of his blue eye as Phil sat at the corner of the booth he was also sitting in… yeah… go figure. It was kind of weird, especially since he was just sitting there, probably watching him as he pretended not to notice.

True, if he knew him half as much as he used to, Phil probably knew that he knew that his eyes were fixed intently on him, peeling his skin layer by layer so he could see right through him.

The thought of that made the short hairs on the nape of his neck stand up on ends and he casually lifted a hand to scratch that same place, trying to distract himself with something other than staring at his red bull.

It was ridiculous, a week ago he could say without any doubt whatsoever that he had forgotten all about this man and yet there he was, his hand itching to reach for him as he tried his hardest not to look his way. And that was without mentioning how antsy he was feeling; seriously, he didn't consider himself as someone who would shy away to anyone, ever, but there was something about the way he was looking at him that was making him feel too self-conscious... just like in those first days where he watched him from afar.

It was crazy, he felt crazy; but the truth was that after the encounter they had the previous week he couldn't stop thinking about Phil. He couldn't brush off his mind what he said and he couldn't ban the random thoughts of the nights they had spent together out of his head.

The phantom of him just crept back into his system and he couldn't shake it off. Could he ever shake him off?

"You are too quiet tonight, what's with you, bro?"

Tilting his head to the side to look at his fellow wrestler Matt aka Zack Ryder, John puffed out a breath and then chuckled. The man was right, he wasn't acting quite like himself and he decided to throw whatever comment he could think of as a way to deviate the attention from the way he was acting. "Nothing… it's just…" snorting and looking around, he pointed at his surroundings and shrugged. "Man, this place is really horrendous."

"Hey, you wound me." Matt said from the other side. "This is my favorite place to eat. Besides I thought you came here for the good company." He finished up by flashing his big grin while pointing at himself.

"If by good company you mean you, then no wonder he thinks this place blows."

At the sound of that voice that brought so many memories into his head, John finally looked up and locked eyes with Phil, his olive green orbs digging deep into his baby blue ones with all the intensity in the world. It kind of reminded him of the times when a few indiscrete looks would pass between them while no one was watching… but now everyone was watching so he looked away and tilted his head towards Matt to hear him talk.

"Nah, he loves my company. Tell him John,"

Chuckling, John ran a hand down his face and then nodded. "Yeah, I do it all for the company."

The truth of it all, he was feeling kind of awkward. It was basically the first time ever that he interacted with Phil out of work and in public since their break up, and even though they were not alone or even openly talking to each other, he couldn't help but to notice than in a few occasions he had addressed him directly and that he wouldn't stop looking at him.

It disconcerted him at some extent and he didn't know what to make of it.

But anyway, that he was there with him was all because of Matt. They were in Long Island so the LI native invited a few of the guys to go out with him for a late night dinner in his favorite sports bar. Never did it cross her mind that Phil was also going to be there.

Sure, he knew the two men were friends, but that the Chicago Native actually showed up came as a surprise to him and Jesus, if he would have known that Phil was going to be there, he would have prepared himself mentally and accordingly.

Now he was stuck there, sitting between Matt and Eve while feeling the intense stare of his former flame burning his skin off.

As the rest of the guys fell once again in easy conversation, John ventured his eyes back to Phil. As he was expecting, the man was looking at him and when he saw his eyes on him he tilted his head to the side and brought the diet Pepsi he has been drinking to his lips.

Arching an eyebrow, John allowed his lips to curve into a smile and kept the stare on him. For some reason, while they looked at each other he got a flashback of the first time he kissed that man and the memory made his skin flush.

That kiss had definitely been something out of this world and he would always remember it. It has been at the elevator of a Hilton hotel in Arizona, right after a PPV. By then they had been kind of silently flirting with the idea of giving into the mutual attraction and that night Phil just surprised him there and got him hooked in an instant…

Now that he could look back at it, he realized that it hadn't been hard for Phil to get him into his bed. Not that he minded, because the attraction he felt for him was so strong that he wondered how come that it didn't happen sooner. Hell, looking back at it he knew that he would have jumped into his bed as soon as he saw him if it hadn't been because of the reputation the man carried with him.

Anyway, after that first night together, it took John a whole year to gather the strength to walk away.

But that was in the past, what he was living now was the present and as similar as it felt, he knew that things were not the same. Their situation wasn't the same and they were not the same persons anymore.

He didn't know what to make of that either.

With his eyes still on his, Phil made a discrete gesture with his head and John understood it in an instant, he wanted to get him alone.

For a second he thought about it… he had been in that predicament so many times before and he knew what that always lead to… but before he could give it a good extended thought, he was already excusing himself to head towards the bathroom.

He walked away, but instead of heading towards the gentlemen's room he walked out of the local, stepping into the cold night air as he took in a deep breath.

Embracing himself against the chilly breeze, John walked to the parking lot and then beyond; it wasn't until he felt someone grabbing his elbow to make him turn around that he stopped.

"Are you planning on walking back to the hotel?" Phil said, his voice coming off as amused as he looked at John right in the eye.

"Of course not." John breathed out. He wanted to sound as confident as Phil did but for some reason he didn't have it in him. He was just disconcerted about everything and even when he would deny it in a heartbeat, his first reaction had been of fleeing. Puffing out another breath, John looked away and closed his eyes. "Phil," He began to say, but before he could go on, the familiar feeling of his lips pressing on his cut him off.

It didn't take long for the former WWE champion to ease to him, as a matter of fact, as soon as he felt Phil's lips brushing against his he lifted a hand to the back of Phil's neck and parted a way for him to kiss him deeper.

The man known as the Pipe Bomb didn't waste any time and soon after he filled the cave of John's mouth with the distinct taste of diet soda and the warm sensation of his tongue moving along with his.

It was a familiar dance for him, but one he hadn't danced in such a long time so it almost felt as new; so new that it sent a shiver down his spine and he felt like melting into him. Not that it surprised him, Phil had always had the ability of blowing his mind away with his kisses and long months after the last one he found out that he could still make his mind turn to goo as he stole the air out of his lungs.

The man just knew how to kiss and he couldn't help but to kiss him back, his fingers settling firmly on his neck so he could hold him closer, breathing from his breath as the world moved around them.

Breathing into the kiss, the older man slid a hand to Phil's hips and brought him even closer against him, their bodies pressing together while that sense of familiarity hit John back.

But then, when things were getting heated up they heard someone coughing and clearing her throat and they quickly pulled apart, breathless and a little flushed.

"Um, I'm sorry… I, just came to get my purse…" Eve said as her eyes widened in her face, but even though she kept walking towards her rental car, opened the door, got her purse and walked away with the same expression in her face until she was back at the local.

Closing his eyes, John shook his head, wondering how he managed to keep a relationship with that man for a whole year without anyone knowing and now that they were not even together, he has been caught kissing him in a public parking lot.

It was unbelievable.

"You know, I think I have to go." He mumbled, but before he could turn around, Phil grabbed him by the hand and pulled him closer.

He came to rest against him, hands pressing to his sides as his eyes went to find his. Phil was smiling and he could see the way his tongue was slowly licking his front teeth as he stared down on him. "Stay with me here."

Chuckling, John shook his head. "I don't know… this is-" He shrugged, but when Phil leaned forward and kissed his jaw, he knew he was going to say yes, especially if he let him finish tracing the slow path he was making with his lips towards his neck.

"Then let me go with you." He mumbled, his hand sliding up his spine.

"Phil, stop… people can see us, in fact, Eve already saw us and I don't want…"

"I don't care." He said, pulling away from him as his eyes flickered in the night. "I really don't, John."

"But I do."

Dropping his eyes away from his, Phil hissed and turned around. John could tell that he was mad and he folded his arms over his chest defensively. "Are you seeing someone?"

Frowning, John shook his head, but then he realized that the man's back was to him so he spoke out loud so he would know. "No."

Turning back to him, Phil pursed his lips and shrugged. "Then what is it? Are you still unsure about us?"

"No… it's just that this is too soon… I mean, it's not the same anymore, we are not the same anymore and this is all too soon."

Snorting, Phil shook his head and licked his lips. "Too soon? John, you were the one that came to me. I was happily living my life as I could and you came to me, how can you say it's too soon? We were together for a whole damn year." He rasped out, his tone coming off as slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, we were together, I know that, but that was like what, eighteen months ago?"

Phil swallowed down, keeping his eyes on John's. "You haven't answered my question, why did came back into my life?"

Shaking his head, John pushed the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "Because I love you, because I couldn't stand the thought of you with someone else and I wanted to hear it from you." He confessed, there was no point in denying it because he already told him back in his room.

Phil took a step towards him and grabbed the back of his head in his palm, angling his face to him so they were eye to eye. "Then what is it? If you love me like you say you do, why are you pushing me away again?"

"I'm not pushing you away, Phil… I just-" Taking a deep breath, he shook his head again as his eyes delved into his green ones. He didn't know what to say, he didn't want to push him away but he didn't want to jump head first into this… it was complicated.

"Then come with me, we'll just finish our dinner and then we'll talk about this, about us. You can't deny me that, would you?"

Hypnotized by his eyes, John knew himself to be doomed so he blinked a couple of times and opened his mouth to respond. But then, the same way that he opened it he closed it and nodded.

That seemed to satisfy Phil because he smiled, his pleasure reaching his eyes as he motioned him to follow him back into the restaurant.

John followed him, it felt strange at the same time that it felt right. It was just weird, but as he followed the man he never stopped loving, he knew that he would never want to let go of him, no, never again.

~Fin...?*~


End file.
